BASLOW ANSWERS YOUR QUESTIONS

Dear Enchanted:
You have imagined Baslow all wrong. Baslow is old. Baslow is fat. Baslow is bald. Baslow is very often unpleasant to be near. Really, you must find out MUCH more about people before you go around making the sorts of suggestions you have made...
---
Dear Curious:
Baslow lives in New York City and does not drive a car. Indeed, Baslow cannot drive a car. He has no license. He doesn't know how to drive.
---
Dear Freaky:
Yes, Baslow does take drugs. None of them, however, are drugs that affect his mood or his outlook, except insofar as Baslow would feel much better if his stomach WOULD JUST SHUT UP!
---
Dear Party Girl:
Thank you ever so much for your invitation. Baslow regrets that he has hitherto neglected to mention that he loathes parties because parties are cultural machines for defeating thought.

(There are, of course, such things as 'wine-and-cheese parties' and 'dinner parties'. These, however, surely subsist at the very edges of the conceptual neighborhood mapped by the word 'party'. One simply doesn't think in terms of a wine-and-cheese party when, for example, someone is dubbed 'a party animal'. One cannot straight-facedly claim to have 'partied all night' on the basis of having attended a dinner party -- however long it went.)

No, dear Party Girl, no. Parties are loud and liquid things, uprorariuous occasions of cerebral abandon. Baslow will not be in attendance.
---
Dear Enchanted:
My, you are persistent! Baslow, please understand, is NOT the stuff that your dreams are made of. Surely you can find someone else, someone more appropriate, to whom to direct your attentions.
---
Dear Skeptical:
In a very literal sense, you are correct. Baslow does not exist. Baslow is not real. He has hardly ever found that to be an impediment.